Under the Mask of Civility

Under the Mask of Civility

Posted by on August 5, 2013                                       /   Comments Off

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Gothic 22Gothic 22Perhaps I can share what’s coming up for me during this “chaotic node,” to make it easier for others to acknowledge what may be coming up for them. This aligns with my intention to go through Ascension publicly – the good, the bad and the ugly.

I’ve been plagued for around three or four days with feelings of hatred and resentment, which have no object and no apparent reason for being. I’m not saying big hatred. Not trying to exaggerate. Nor am I saying continual hatred. Just small flashes of it, periodically. Very disturbing, very unsettling.

In the face of them, I’ve indeed been doubting my own progress, wondering of it was all for naught and if I was a complete fool, a sham and a fake.

I’ve been worrying that others could see this underlying sense of being riled and resentful (of course they can). I haven’t known what to do with it apart from being with it.

Meanwhile I’ve been responding as carefully as I could to whatever’s transpiring around me while at the same time navigating some difficult shoals which I’m not sure could be avoided. This need to act, even if I felt in ways which, if observed, would bring shame to me (who wants to be seen hating and resenting?), has been a great disturbance.

I had enough residual sense that unexpected things like this do occur not to go off the deep end with what I was feeling, but, having read the Hathors, I now do see it as the real hard-core residuum of emotional toxicity which remains as a seed bed of vasanas within me.

I accept it as the core of toxicity that has to arise, be experienced and released.

In light of what the Hathors said, I’m now able to simply be with these really awful feelings – taste them, listen to them, and feel them – and allow them to be there for as long as need be, without hooking them up to whatever may be happening around me or projecting them onto others. The Hathors’ explanation has made the process bearable for me.